[puts on my Marx beard]
here's the poem/prompt from this past Monday's Inklings. we had a buttload (LITERALLY, A BUTTLOAD) of fun writing and sharing these poems, so if you weren't there, i hope you have another buttload of fun with this.
by Shel Silverstein
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay,
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is---Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
1) List 10-15 of your best excuses. It doesn't matter what they're for: school, work, missing a wedding, killing your friend's goldfish, not having a pencil, not giving out your phone number, masturbating -- whatever.
2) Choose the very best one and expand upon it. Go crazy with it.
Much Love and Squids'a'Plenty,
Naia (Resident Gangsta)